


Laughing Away Through My Feeble Disguise

by lotionbottle (liveinfury)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Feelings, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 09:22:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3564458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liveinfury/pseuds/lotionbottle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Jonny laughs off Patrick’s feelings and the one time he doesn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Laughing Away Through My Feeble Disguise

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Jackie and Wilson by Hozier.

1.

Jonny is recruited to play for the Junior Flyers for a tournament. He doesn’t know much about the team but is happy to go anywhere he is wanted. He lights it up after the first game, scores two goals and an assist. He even blocks a shot with his stick and is more proud of that then the points. All in all, he's feeling pretty good about playing on this team. That is, until a certain curly haired blond kid enters his life.

Jonny first notices Patrick Kane during practice when he dekes around a bunch of players and scores a few times with a huge grin. One time after burying the puck in the net, Patrick skates past Jonny and winks at him. Jonny starts to notice Patrick a lot more after that. The kid is really good, at least for being so small. Jonny has no idea how he does what he does.

As Jonny strips off his gear, high-fiving and fist bumping guys that pass by, Patrick approaches him with a jump in his step.

“Dude you were amazing, I’m like in love with you,” Patrick says in admiration, his blue eyes wide and looking up at Jonny. Jonny is a little taken aback by his words, he wonders how Patrick can say something like that so casually in a locker room full of teenage boys. Jonny thinks it might be because Patrick obviously doesn’t mean it in literal terms, he’s obviously not gay and he’s just joking. But it still leaves Jonny with an uneasy feeling, mainly because he himself is going through a ‘Why do dicks make me feel like this? Why do I find boys pretty? I think I might be gay’ crisis.

So Jonny just chuckles at Patrick’s comment and says, “Thanks man, you were good out there too.” Jonny claps Patrick on the shoulder once and turns around to take his shirt off thinking that’s the end of it.

“No I mean seriously, I’ve never seen anyone play like you do, Jonny. You’re gonna make it to the show, no doubt,” Jonny turns around to face Patrick, shirtless. He also pretends like he doesn’t see Patrick staring at his bare chest.

“Well, that’s the plan. Thanks Pat,” Jonny holds his fist out to Patrick and receives a fist bump and a blinding smile in return, dimples and all.

If anybody notices how they exchange coy smiles or gaze longingly at each other for the rest of the tournament, they don’t mention it.

2.

The club was packed tonight, sweaty dancing bodies everywhere. Jonny was only slightly tipsy, he passed on most of the drinks the guys got for him to Patrick. Considering he singlehandedly got them the two points tonight, he deserved it.

Jonny was sitting in a booth with a few of the guys when Patrick came back from the dance floor. He shoved against Jonny until he made room for him to sit, Pat’s curls clinging to his forehead.

“Hi Jonny, having fun?” Patrick breathed into Jonny’s ear.

“Not as much as you clearly. Here, you missed Sharpy’s round,” Jonny said sliding over his shot towards Patrick.

“Hmmm, we should change that,” Patrick says, throwing back the shot. He throws an arm around Jonny and dives his face into Jonny’s neck. Jonny doesn’t think much of it; most of the guys are talking animatedly about how Soupy’s striking out with blonde girl he’d been flirting with all night.

Jonny doesn’t think much of it when the talk turns to everyone’s opinion on the club in general. Jonny doesn’t think of it much when that turns into comparing various cities and ranking bars. Jonny doesn’t think of it much when that turns into ranking stadiums in the league. Jonny doesn’t think much of Patrick’s lips sitting idly against Jonny’s neck until the idleness disappears. Patrick starts mouthing at Jonny’s neck and Jonny shoves him before anyone notices.

“Hey!” Patrick yells as if Jonny was in the wrong to push him away.

“What are you doing?” Jonny asks, frustration written all over his face.

“Giving you a hickey, what does it look like asshole,” Patrick answers nonchalantly, pushing back to his position next to Jonny as if it was totally normal to give your hockey bro a hickey in the middle of a bar. Jonny glances around to make sure no one heard any part of their conversation and it looked like everyone was still talking about stadiums.

“Stop Pat, you’re drunk and I’m not a chick,” Jonny pushes Patrick again with one hand, enough to keep Patrick’s lips away from his neck.

“Exactly,” Patrick replies, coming even closer. Jonny doesn’t even know what that means, clearly Patrick has had his limit if he’s willing to settle for anything living.

“Alright, I think it’s bedtime for you dude,” Jonny laughs and shoves Patrick hard one last time to get him out of the booth and as far away from Jonny as possible.

“Okay, let’s go,” Patrick replies, making grabby hands at Jonny.

“Anyone ready to head back?” Jonny asks the guys, hoping one of them would be willing to escort a drunk and horny Kaner back to the hotel. Duncs says something about wanting to finish his nightly routine and Jonny gets out of the booth to let him out too.

“Great, take Kaner with you,” Jonny ushers a swaying Patrick towards Duncs.

“Ew, no. I want you Jonny,” Patrick responds as Duncs puts an arm around his shoulder to steady him. Duncs snorts and mumbles something about how can anyone want someone with shark eyes and continues to guide Patrick toward the doors.

Jonny stares at their retrieving figures and runs a shaky hand through his hair. Ever since they started training camp together a few months ago this has been one of his many running fantasies. A fantasy he never in his life would have thought would become a reality. It wasn’t real though, was the thing. Patrick was just drunk, he didn’t want Jonny. And Jonny was willing to bet the feel of Pat’s lips on his skin wasn’t going to leave his mind anytime soon.

3.

“Of course it would be Kaner, I mean who else?” Jonny hears Q say as he makes his way over to the sidelines of the dog pile that is going on in center ice.

Jonny couldn’t agree with him more. It had to be Patrick, it would only make sense. There was no jealousy or feeling of annoyance over what just happened. There was no ounce of Jonny that was being competitive right now, he was just happy for everyone. And if at some point in his life he started taking Patrick’s achievements as his own, like a proud dad, then no one had to know. Okay gross maybe not like a dad.

Patrick’s awful mullet and patchy beard emerges from the dog pile and after glancing around the rink he starts to make his way over to where Jonny is standing. Beaming smiles all around as if they just won the Stanley Cup. Oh wait, they did.

“Jonathan, Jonny! We fucking did it!” Patrick screamed as he got closer, grabbing onto Jonny’s shoulders.

“You did it Pat, it was all you man,” Jonny says.

“Nah, man, it was you! You led us here, you’re the fucking best Jon. I love you!” Patrick says in a lower voice. His blue eyes wide and gazing up into Jonny’s with a look of admiration. Jonny has an odd feeling of déjà vu and just laughs his words off.

“I didn’t do too much Pat, it was the team,” Jonny says.

“Like hell it was the team, there is no team without you,” Patrick says, his voice cracking on the last few words causing Jonny to chuckle.

“You gonna cry?” Jonny asks, bending down to look into Patrick’s eye as if he were a kid.

“Fuck off, I will if you don’t hug me you asshole,” Patrick lets go of Jonny’s shoulders and spreads his arms wide waiting for Jonny.

“You’re such a baby, come here,” Jonny says, wrapping his arms around Patrick’s torso.

“I love you, Jonny. So much,” Patrick says as he clings to him automatically. Jonny lets out a breathy laugh.

“I love you too buddy,” Jonny replies, as close to the truth as he’ll ever get.

Some of the guys start making their way to them and Jonny thinks this will be the start of a group hug if he doesn’t let go anytime soon.

As he starts pulling away from Patrick to go congratulate Nemo again Patrick pulls him back for one more quick embrace.

“Way to step up big Jonny,” Patrick yells, pulling away and skating off to Sharpy and Burr.

4.

Jonny closes the door behind him and immediately ditches his tie. He felt like it was choking him all day, he doesn’t know how much longer he can keep going to these meetings that lead nowhere. He just wants hockey back, he doesn’t think that’s too much to ask for.

He settles down on the couch with a beer and starts to channel surf when his phone starts ringing “Crazy in Love” by Beyoncé and the name KANER flashes across the screen. He knew he shouldn’t have left his phone out when he went over to Sharpy’s yesterday.

“Hey,” Jonny says while muting the TV.

“Do you like the song? Did it remind you of me?” Patrick asks. Jonny can practically hear the smile through the phone.

“You put him up to it?” Jonny asks, confused.

“Duh, I wanted to have a personalized ring tone, so you like it?” Patrick asks again.

Jonny sighs and responds, “Yeah Pat, I like it.”

“Kay, cool. So what’s up? How are the meetings going?”

“Meh, I don’t know. I can’t tell if we’re making any progress,” Jonny says. He turns the TV off completely and chugs the last of his beer, deciding to turn in for the night.

“That sucks, I was hoping for some good news Jonny,” Patrick huffs.

“Sorry bud, you know you’re the first person I’ll call when I find anything out,” Jonny says as he tries to strip down to his boxers while cradling the phone against his neck.

“Yeah I know, well hurry! I’m getting antsy over here, I miss you guys,” Patrick responds.

“It’ll be over soon Kaner, hang in there,” Jonny relaxes as he settles into bed.

“Yeah, but it’s just- I really miss you. Like I can’t stop thinking about you, it’s driving me crazy. I never knew you meant this much to me, you know?” Patrick breathes out in a whisper. The confession startles Jonny so much that he has to sit up to get a proper intake of air. He thinks he can hear a door open and close in the background of his call.

“Get off the phone with your boyfriend and let me kick your ass at Mario Kart,” says who Jonny assumes is Tyler Seguin.

“Fuck off, asshole. I swear Jonny, please get me home. I can’t deal with this kid’s bullshit,” Patrick says while laughing.

“Who you calling kid?” Seguin barks.

Jonny laughs into the phone and says, “I’m trying my best Pat, trust me.”

“I gotta go Jonny, bring me back yeah?” Patrick asks in a hesitant voice.

“Yeah, I promise, soon,” Jonny replies and as an afterthought adds “I miss you too Pat.”

“Wow, you do have emotions, Tin Man. Wait till Sharpy hears about this,” Patrick responds.

“Fuck off… I’ll call you later okay?” Jonny asks

“Yeah, see ya Tazer.”

“Bye, Pat.”

5.

“Hey man, hurry up I’m starving,” Jonny says to Patrick. They’re the only ones left in the locker room after practice and Patrick is taking his sweet time getting dressed.

“Can we talk real quick? Before we go?” Patrick asks after he gets his head through his shirt and settles down on the bench to put on his shoes. Jonny sighs and takes a seat next to him.

“What’s up?” Jonny asks.

“I-I have…I have feelings for you,” Patrick blurts out. The words just sit there in the air for a while as Jonny looks at him in utter confusion.

“What?” Jonny asks while standing up and backing away from Patrick. There was no way he just heard what he think he did.

At that moment Sharpy walks into the room, throwing his hands up in a surrendering position because of the looks Jonny and Patrick make at him. He was interrupting a really odd conversation.

“Sorry guys, just forgot my keys…” Sharpy makes his way over to his locker, retrieves his keys, and eyes Patrick. They exchange a weird set of looks like they’re having a full conversation with just their bodies.

“You doing the thing right now?” Sharpy asks at the end of their silent conversation.

“Yes, so can you hurry and leave,” Patrick squeaks out. Sharpy gives Patrick a thumbs up and hurries out of the room. That’s when Jonny finally understands what’s going on and breaks out into a fit of laughter.

“Okay yeah, great you have feelings for me. Now can we please get lunch?” Jonny asks while laughing.

“What?” Patrick blinks at him.

“I figured it out obviously, doesn’t take a genius to know this is a prank. Where are the cameras? Are the guys listening right now?” Jonny asks glancing around the room to look for any signs of peep holes or bugs.

“What? No…there are no cameras,” Patrick says slowly while wringing his hands.

“So what’s the point of this one? Just for you and Sharpy?” Jonny doesn’t understand the end game of this prank. Unless the whole reason was to get Jonny to confess something back, which would never happen in a million years, he’s not that stupid.

“Yeah… I guess. I don’t know,” Patrick replies.

“Alright, whatever. Can we just go now?” Jonny is getting a bit frustrated. This prank hits a bit too close to home which makes Jonny feel uncomfortable. He feels like he's on uncharted territory.

“I’m not really feeling hungry, you go ahead, sorry,” Patrick responds, turning his back to Jonny and faces his locker to take out his wallet and keys.

“Oh come on Pat, lets go,” Jonny lightly tugs on Patrick’s shoulder.

“Um, I forgot I had to call my sister, it’s her birthday. Maybe we can do something later though?” Patrick offers.

“Yeah…okay, whatever.” Jonny grabs his things and makes his way out of the room in confusion. He knows for a fact that all three of Patrick’s sister’s birthdays have already passed.

“Hey Erica,” Jonny hears Patrick mutter as he closes the door to the room. He stands right outside the door hoping he can hear something that will enlighten Jonny as to why Patrick was being so weird.

“No it didn’t go too well. He thought I was joking,” Patrick says sounding distraught. Jonny doesn’t know what to make of this.

Erica must say something on her end of the line because Patrick responds saying, “Look, I don’t want to talk about it okay? I’m just gonna pretend like everything is normal, because it is. Nothing happened.”

Jonny feels terrible for eavesdropping, but a little excited about what he heard. Did Patrick really mean what he said and Jonny took it for a joke? What would Patrick have said if they weren’t interrupted? Jonny has so many unanswered questions running through his mind.

Later, his phone buzzes in his pocket while he’s in line at a deli.

**Come over for dinner. I’ll get that gross salad shit you like from down the street.**

Jonny takes a second and replies. 

**Okay.**

+1

Jonny tries to calm himself down as he knocks on Patrick’s door. He’s about to take the biggest risk of his life and he really hopes it pays off.

“Hey man, come in. I just ordered everything, should be here soon,” Patrick says as he opens the door and steps aside to let Jonny in.

“Thanks,” Jonny says, taking his usual seat on the couch. He wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans; he needs to get a hold of himself.

“Beer?” Patrick asks from the kitchen and brings one out for Jonny before Jonny can even respond.

“You okay?” Patrick asks as he sits down next to Jonny, his own beer in hand.

“Look I just…fuck,” Jonny says. He turns to look at Patrick and moves closer along the couch so that they’re inches away.

“What’s going on Jonny?” Patrick asks in a whisper. Jonny takes Patrick’s face in his hands and rubs his thumb along Patrick’s jaw.

“What were you going to say today? In the locker room?” Jonny finally gets out.

“Nothing, it was just a stupid joke,” Patrick mumbles. He looks down at his own hands that sit idle in his lap.

“Tell me. Tell me everything you wanted to say, Patrick. Please?” Jonny asks. He lifts Patrick’s chin up so that he can make eye contact.

“I…I have feelings for you,” Patrick whispers. Jonny brings his face even closer to Patrick’s and can feel the words against his skin.

“What kind of feelings Pat?” Jonny asks with confidence.

“The kind that mean I’m probably gay. The kind that make me want to kiss you or just touch you…for like forever,” Patrick says against Jonny’s lips.

Jonny doesn't laugh.

“Me too,” Jonny admits, although that should be pretty obvious to Patrick with how they were almost sitting in each other’s laps right now, hands touching skin, lips ghosting over each other.

Patrick surges forward to close the last few centimeters, allowing their lips to meet. Jonny leaves one hand caressing Patrick’s jaw and moves the other one into his curls, pulling him closer. The kiss is gentle and soft, both of them slightly hesitant. Patrick wraps a hand around Jonny’s neck and removes Jonny’s hand from his jaw. He takes his hand and laces their fingers together, settling them in their laps. The kiss eventually becomes more assured and fierce. Jonny slips his tongue into Patrick’s mouth and Patrick does the same.

After a while Jonny sucks Patrick’s bottom lip into his mouth and pulls away.

“I love you,” Jonny says with assurance and no hesitation.

“Oh, that’s nice,” Patrick replies with a smile as he tries to pull Jonny’s face back to his.

“You’re an asshole,” Jonny gasps out before Patrick completely devours his mouth. This kiss becomes sloppy and messy, all tongue and teeth.

Patrick pulls away after some time and murmurs, “I love you too, dumbass. I mean duh,” against Jonny’s lips. He begins kissing his way down to Jonny’s neck and starts mouthing at it.

“You can’t give me a hickey Kaner, we’re not teenagers and I can’t explain it to the guys,” Jonny says.

“You don’t have to explain it, they’ll know. They’re not as dumb as you. Besides, I need to show Sharpy proof that this happened, it’s not like you’re gonna tell him,” Patrick says into Jonny’s neck.

“You want me to? I will, I’ll tell whoever, I don’t care. I love you,” Jonny says honestly. The thought of anyone knowing about them doesn’t seem so terrible.

“Just my family and some of the guys, is that okay?” Patrick asks with an excited grin.

“Yeah, babe, that’s okay,” Jonny replies. Patrick gives him a quick peck and returns his lips to Jonny’s neck causing him to shudder.

Jonny suddenly remembers a night a few years ago that ignited the same feelings in his body and asks, “In that bar, our rookie year, do you remember trying to do this? Were you into me then?”

“I’ve been into you since Junior Flyers assface, now shut up and let me concentrate. If you’re really good I’ll make the hickey look like Canada, you’d like that right Jonny?” Patrick asks while petting Jonny’s cheek with one hand, the other making its way down to rest on his chest.

“Make that a maple leaf and you got yourself a deal,” Jonny responds, lacing his fingers with the hand that sits on his chest.

“Easy,” Patrick mutters.

 _Yeah,_ Jonny thinks, _it will be now._

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work in this lovely fandom and I'm super excited.  
> Feedback is greatly appreciated, thanks!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr [here.](http://liveinfurry.tumblr.com/)


End file.
